The Latest

Feb 20, 2014 / 762 notes
Feb 20, 2014 / 89,307 notes

(via fake-mermaid)

Feb 19, 2014 / 340,594 notes

(via inferencing)

Feb 19, 2014 / 51,364 notes

(via stability)

Feb 19, 2014 / 52,229 notes

(via fluws)

Feb 19, 2014 / 51,848 notes

My cousin ordered a pizza for her and her little brother and it's actually the funniest story i've ever heard in my life. In her own words, this is what happened:

  • Cousin: so, the pizza guy got here, and he was REALLY REALLY HOT and had a REALLY ATTRACTIVE VOICE
  • Cousin: and he was like "your total is $16.38"
  • Cousin: and I handed him a $20 and he was like "how much change do you want"
  • Cousin: and I
  • Cousin: just
  • Cousin: stared
  • Cousin: at him
  • Cousin: for like 20 seconds
  • Cousin: and he was like "how much change do you want?"
  • Cousin: (IT GOES DOWN HILL. THIS IS NOT THE EMBARRASSING THING YET.)
  • Cousin: and I'm like "$2? [awkwardly long pause] $1? ...... NONE"
  • Cousin: NO CHANGE
  • Cousin: AND I LITERALLY GRABBED THE PIZZA
  • Cousin: AND SLAMMED THE DOOR
  • Cousin: (STILL GETTING WORSE, DON'T WORRY)
  • Cousin: ONCE THE DOOR HAS BEEN SLAMMED I REALIZE
  • Cousin: THE PIZZA
  • Cousin: IS
  • Cousin: STILL
  • Cousin: IN
  • Cousin: THE
  • Cousin: FUCKING
  • Cousin: CARRYING BAG
  • Cousin: AND FROM THE PORCH HE'S LIKE "um i need that back"
  • Cousin: AND I'M LIKE SHIT MAN
  • Cousin: AND I HAD TO OPEN THE DOOR
  • Cousin: AND WAIT FOR HIM TO PULL THE PIZZAS OUT
  • Cousin: AND HE'S JUST STARING AT ME
  • Cousin: AND I'M DYING
  • Cousin: AND IT TOOK LIKE A WHOLE 30 SECONDS
  • Cousin: AND MY BROTHER COMES UP AND HE IS LIKE
  • Cousin: SHE IS FLUSTERED CUZ SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE
  • Cousin: AND I DECIDE THAT CLEARLY I NEED TO PUSH HIM BY HIS FACE
  • Cousin: WHICH ONLY MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE
  • Cousin: AND THAT IS WHY I CAN NEVER EVER EVER ORDER DOMINOS EVER AGAIN FOREVER
Feb 19, 2014 / 116,696 notes

(via force)

Feb 19, 2014 / 161,914 notes
Feb 19, 2014 / 455,423 notes

(via inferencing)

Feb 19, 2014 / 23,232 notes

(via legalisation)